Written by: AJ
I’m fast and jittery,
Uncertain hands fluttering about
Drawing pictures in the air;
Accompanied by waves of words
Caught in my throat
Rolling around on my tongue,
pushed unceremoniously into the open air,
floating in almost never ending spirals.
I move fast, jumping from thing to thing.
Never able to focus.
Yet for some reason I’m caught up on you.
Like that day last fall
I wore my favorite sweater
And while walking it got stuck on a fence.
Because I didn’t want to rip the sweater
and it was my favorite
I ended up stopping,
And you’re that fence
And I’m that sweater
Caught up on you.
You’re slow, measured.
You match me in passion
Yet take your time
You kiss like time is halted
Like my parents aren’t in the next room
Like we have days instead of stolen minutes
You are calculated.
I’m not sure if you’re afraid to let go
to lose control.
Perhaps you’re just in love with details.
I crave to know
Am I a detail in your life?
Or am I the greater picture?
I want to be the picture.
Like getting caught by the accidental flash
Of our first stolen kiss
I want you to accidentally make me
A small insignificant detail, into the picture
But like that fence that snagged my sweater
I’m terrified you’re going to rip me apart
Because that was a situation doomed for disaster
Yet you kiss me slowly
And hold me closely
Then you seem to forget me.
Why are you so afraid of commitment?
You let me see your shattered pieces
Glimpses of yourself
I collected shards of glass
Hoping to be able to glue them together
Yet you left gaping holes in your tale
And I’m like water rushing too fast
Trying to fill those empty spaces
Am I eroding away more pieces?
Are you being brought down stream
Is this, another quick thing
Maybe I don’t want to untangle that goddam sweater!
I know how you sleep
I know how you like your tea
How you drink (way to much)
The story about your number for football
I know the real you.
I can’t be your first in most things
But I want to be the first to meet your mother
And if I can’t be the first for the rest,
I want to be the god damn last
Please don’t rip me apart
You know the strings
You need to pull to make me unravel
Like a meaningless piece of cloth
I labeled my favorite
Please tie off those strings
of mistakes and hatred
Please don’t leave me
When I think I’ve final gotten stuck
on something good
For one freaking time in forever.